If You Can’t Take the Heat…
I think we can all agree the South is a land of epic weather. I’m Zulah Talmadge with The Shady Pines Gazette news and I’m going to be talking about how we cope with the extremes of summer.
Now we know that in a single year, we can experience hurricanes, tornados, floods, droughts, a blizzard’s worth of snow, and a heast index in the triple digits. That’s already happened in Shady Pines.
What is it about the Southern heat that speaks to us like nothing else? It’s kinda like our sweat badge of courage—proof, in our minds, that we can stand mercury levels which would surely undo any of those folks up north. And we do it gracefully.
Southern women don’t sweat—we “glisten.”
It’s not enough, of course, for Southerners to bravely endure the heat. No, we need to talk about it! We are always searching for ever more colorful ways of describing the heat’s intensity.
Here at The Gazette, we took a poll and asked our neighbors for things they say when it’s hot. Let us know if we missed any.
The Heat’s On:
It’s not the heat—it’s the humidity.
It’s hotter’n blue blazes.
Is it hot enough for ya?
Man, it’s hot as all get-out!
It must be 90 in the shade.
This one’s gonna be a scorcher.
You could fry an egg on the sidewalk.
You could fry an egg on the hood of that car.
How Hot Is It Really?
It’s so hot the swimming pool is boiling.
It’s so hot the ice cream truck melted.
It’s like a steam bath out here.
It’s like walking through soup out here.
If it gets any hotter, I’ll have to take off stuff I really ought to keep on.
You could have a stroke out here.
I’m burning slap up.
I’m sweatin’ like a hog.
Could I stick my face in your deep-freeze for just a second?
Well, there you have it.
Some great expression to haul out this summer when you’re trying to explain just how dang uncomfortable it really is in you neck of the woods. Any other favorite expression you’d like to share? Please leave ’em in the comments below.
Stay cool y’all!
– Zulah Talmadge, Editor of The Shady Pines Gazette